Faithful by Alice Hoffman

I don't know that anyone would be interested, but I read...alot.  And to hang on to a shred of my 30 years of librarianship and Reader's Advisory service, I write book reviews, fairly short ones, for GoodReads, NetGalley, Amazon, Pinterest, Barnes & Noble.  Nothing spectacular, just what I think. So I thought I would just start adding them here, too.  What the heck.

And I'm starting it off with a book I've just finished that in many ways hit home.  My mother passed away almost 4 years ago, and it devastated me.  Perhaps because my father had died when I was very young, and she raised me and my two younger brothers by herself.  She never remarried.  She claimed my late father was the love of her life.  But we lived in a small town, and she had many brothers and sisters to provide emotional support for her.  She told me once, she had knew she had to stop crying after he died of polycystic kidney disease.  She had three little children to raise and she couldn't let Grief take her over.  I recognized her story, and mine, in Alice Hoffman's Faithful.

Grief and loss....like falling helplessly, hopelessly into a black hole. All the "what ifs..." and the "I should haves..." that run through one's mind, examining all ways that this mindnumbing loss could have been prevented. Having been through this type of loss four years ago when my mother passed, I easily recognized the desolation Shelby feels when her best friend is left comatose, after a black ice incident when Shelby had been driving. Reliving the incident in every moment endlessly on some type of hideous loop of self destruction and self recrimination.

And yet, this story is not the sad descent into hopelessness that one may expect. It's the powerful story of the support of family and friends, and even strangers. Working one's way through grief and again finding worth in your own being. Being faithful to the person you've lost and to yourself. Dealing with Grief can take years, and it never really goes away. One just gets better at dealing with it in microsteps. And one can find truths in one's own hidden depths. This is a touching story, full of hidden hope. Don't miss it.

And that's where I was for a long time.  In a black hole.  Recriminations of how I treated her, or should have done better by her.  And yet knowing all along, she'd tell me not too.  We'd loved each other and we were there for each other when necessary.  And slowly, slowly I've pulled myself out and felt like caring about life and the future again.Okay, enough sadness for now.

New Page

I am starting a new page in my life.  My, that sounds pretentious.  But it's now been four years since I've retired from CML, and it's been three and a half since Mum passed, and I'm starting to pull myself out of my grief and self pity and working to find a new direction I need to take.  So what has been my major interest these past few years....that thing that still sparks my interest and keeps my mind working?  Ok, so I like to read and that will continute, but I think both you and I know that many times reading is escape from reality.  And I really need to start dealing in reality more often.  Amanda has turned 18, and will be starting college soon, and will be moving even further out of my life...as it should be.  Can't just hang around anymore.

So what's interesting for me?  Vintage stuff, really.  I love finding vintage stuff that needs some love and tenderness and a good cleaning and a bit of repair, and then doing that.  Mark is of course, wondering what I'm going to do with this "stuff" and how much of it is going to pile up, but maybe I can sell it.  Some of it I'm repurposing for me:  Like the two mid century modern couches I found, and some of the mid century starburst clocks, but we'll see how this goes. I don't think I'm in this really for the money.  However, money allows me to buy some more.  Bad Me.  But let's see how this goes.

I retired from the CML System in January of 2012 after 26 years and 10 months of being a CML employee, and I haven't regretted a moment of it.  I had begun to realize that as much as I love the library world, and books and reading...I wasn't happy at where it was going.  I don't think there was any real choice in making the changes that Administration had made.  The world is changing more and more quickly, and what I grew up with as a traditional library just wasn't viable anymore.  I realized that what the library had become, and where it was heading, was no longer something I was interested in.  There are those persons that are, of course, and I decided it was time to let them have at it.  I haven't looked back.  I find the only real thing I do regret, is the access to the new books.  There's something about having them all around you that makes you notice them more, and makes it easier to find new interesting things to read.  I have to work harder now to find good things to read, and perhaps I'm not reading as much.  But my library card now only has a few items on it, where as before it was constantly full.

I also knew that there was a great deal of stress in my job, but I didn't realize how much until several months after I left. And let's face it, I don't miss the paperwork and the deadlines.  All around it was a good decision. Yay for me, for making the right decision.

Searching for Bryan Tarlton

I had an uncle, since passed away, who had a little general antiques store in Ontario, CA. He would go around to auctions and buy stuff up and put it in his store. My mother saw a painting there that she really liked - a woodland scene. She would have loved to own it but she didn't have the money to purchase it. (my uncle was married to my mother's sister, and you had to know him) Anyway, For some reason the painting got damaged. I mean really damaged. Someone must have put an elbow through it. It was being put into the trash, and my mother asked if she could have it. She put it away and tried to find someway to fix it. It's been in storage for years, until I took it to get it fixed. I've got a lead on someone might be able to fix it.

However, my mother wanted some information on the artist. The picture is signed Bryan Tarlton. I've found a little bit of information about him, gleaned from here and there. There are many of his paintings going through the auction houses, averaging from $150 to about $500, mostly of beech tree scenes. Obviously, not a famous artist, but respectable.

He's from Indiana, and most of his oil landscapes are of Brown County, Indiana beech woods.He must have really loved beech trees. He was born in Franklin, IN and lived in Indianapolis. He lived from April 1899 to September 1962. His second wife's name was Mildred Boyd Tarlton. And that's really about it. Of course, I haven't dedicated my time to it, but it will come. And I would welcome any offerings of anyone who has more information.

The power is OUT!

I never know whether I should be amused or worried. Example: Today at my work location the electric power was out. (Somebody hit a street pole down the avenue, electric wires everywhere, police diverting traffic, etc) My staff met me as I got out of my car, informing me of the situation. I'm sure the first thing they wanted to hear was that they could go home, but no...This is basically still a library and people can read - by the windows, under the skylights - And we opened our doors to the public on time as always. Life can go on.

For once, there was NOT a great flood of people into the branch as the doors opened. Of course, having signs on the doors that said - No electricity, No computers and Yes, we're open - might have had a bit to do with it; especially the No Computers part. However, several people came in to check. We'd meet people at the door "Hello, the electricity is out. May I help you find something?" And almost every single person would respond "Are the computers working?" (No, the lack of electricity let all the squirrels out of their cages) That is the part that worries me, or amuses me - take your pick. After we'd explain "No, the computers are not working as they run on electricity and the electricity is out," (let me lead you by the hand through this thought process) then they'd ask with all seriousness "When will the computers be working again?" (When we can round up all the squirrels and get them working again?) Oooh the things I want to say, when properly all I can respons with is "I don't know." They then turn and walk out, some of them angry.

And it's not just the computers being out, people come in looking to use the copy machine, or the computer printer, or the wi-fi, and to ask why is it so warm in here? Again we patiently explain the power is out and that electricity runs that particular item.

Have we just become so used to electricity that we can't conceive of losing it? It was a quiet morning though. Even staff couldn't perform basic morning duties - no computers. We pretty much just sat around like lumps, and/or caught up on our professional reading. We did get our shelves all straightened though, and we checked out books the old fashioned way - by hand, paper and pencil.

Digital books, publishing, etc. Where's it going?

Playing around with my Nook, my chaotic mind begins to bounce around wondering how digital/ebooks are going to effect the future of libraries, books, and publishing. I know I'm not the only one pondering that question, but still... After spending 40+ years working in libraries, I wonder that if I had to make the choice now, would I still become a librarian? And what, actually, is a librarian going to become? and soon. I love books and the printed word. I love the physical presence of books, and I always think more of a person when I see books scattered around their home, and not in an artistic manner.

I don't think physical books will actually go away for a long time, until a way can be found to digitalize the entire works of mankind quickly and cheaply. But in going forward, how much printed matter will drop away? Books are already set up electronically for creating, editing, and publishing. Does anyone actually submit a paper manuscript anymore? So the easiest step, and cheapest, is to skip the ink/paper process and market the book in it's electronic form.

The creation of Apple's IPad, and any soon to be released competitors will bring the price way down. And it's been mentioned at a Teen Services & Social Media meeting (cit to come) that teens today prefer to use their cell phones for anything and everything, which I would suppose would mean ebooks, also. (Just wait until their eyes start to go, and that small print won't be so attractive) I work in an inner city neighborhood, with a low income level, low educational level, etc. and I swear every kid or teen that walks through our doors has a cell phone. So between cheap cell phones and clone IPads, the future of publishing becomes an immediate concern.

When I'm right, I'm right

And ooooh boy, was I right. I looooooove my Nook. Or maybe I just love the whole concept of the ebook. I regularly scan B&N's list of books, looking for a great book for .99 or 1.98. Sometimes if it's something I really want, I'll go as far as 9.99 as I did for Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything; and Beth Erickson's Longing for Dad. I love being able to lay in bed at night, and scan the booklists, knowing I can just tap BUY and it's all mine. Another feature is that I can get free samples. This means that I can get 15 to 20 pages of any book I'm interested in to download to my ebook. How cool is that? And at the end of that sample, B&N generously gives me a BUY button. Oh, those clever people! So now I know I'm going to read Craig Ferguson's biography American on Purpose. And tho, I may not buy it (sorry, Craig) I know I can borrow it from the Library.

And did I mention they were giving away a free set of Alice in Wonderland screensavers? Yep, they were.

My DH put in an 4gb SD card, and now I can store up to 40,000 books just to carry around with me, to read as I want and bookmark as I need to. I can read a dozen or more books at once. I've discovered Fictionwise (well, I always knew it was there) but now I'm exploring it thoroughly, and Project Gutenberg is one of my favorite websites, cause everything's for free. Just download it as epub and we're home free!

My next move is to start looking up Golden Age Sci Fi authors, and see if I can find them in Gutenberg and add them to my Nook. I've decided I really don't care much about the Ipad. Why pay so much for something I would only use for a few things. My Nook fills my need.